Currently Playing Burning Bridges By Haste the Day see related

fourteen summers will pass and fade away just like she said we would...

As far as I am concerned, this summer is not over yet. Maybe that is just me telling myself that because of how beautiful the past four months of my life have been. Or maybe I just keep telling myself that because I know how many of my close friends I will not be seeing very much after Sunday. Nonetheless the reason doesn't matter.

Disregard things I may have said about summers past. This was the best one I have had.

I don't even know how, muchless where to start with this one... I guess I'll just start with random memories strung together, which will progress to people then who knows...

up all night singing. watching the sunrise from the dugouts. family guy. playgrounds. baseball fields. stars. these late nights. crickets. philadelphia. sneaking to philadelphia. peanut butter and jelly every day. work. old friends coming back. losing new friends. open mic and the wandering. ice cream in the cemetary. xballx. xredroverx and the cops. the church. the troc. more ice cream. basketball games. crazy antics at shows. albert react eating my ice cream. the ocean air. late nights and long walks on the beach. long walks. the moon. the blood brothers. murder by death. minus the bear. running from dharma. albert react. reggie and the full effect. the alkaline trio. circle takes the square. rocky votolato. fallen requiem. remembering never. sadaharu.  xxx. shows. so many bands. hersheypark. gum (go home). warped tour. alex t's basement (gasoline & alcohol).

matt // you are first because you deserve it. after everything that happened between us... after it all we are friends again. i never thought this would happen. you don't understand how glad i am to have you back in my life. i really missed you. chris // i guess i really only got to know you this summer, despite knowing you for the past year. you and ball have earned their own little spot in my heart. andy // you are a fiend. you and your crazy sayings and nonsense and bad sense of direction... what would i do without you... besides not scream about wrong directions? dan // i could go on forever talking about you because of how much you mean to me. i wish i would have gotten to know you better sooner than i did. its a shame that the events that occurred had to happen in order for us to end up where we are now. nonetheless you are amazing. you ever leave me, i'll make sure i fucking kill you. tim // i think i forgot you existed for about 3 months. then i somehow ended up walking into your house every day and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. now our friendship has grown to the point of you and matt using me as a punching bag. you and your goddammn drumming. kt // you are my best bitch. always. caitlin // i think i hung out with you 3 times this summer. that is probably mainly my fault. but this will change. i know it. jordan // i know that we grew incredibly close over this summer. however, i am not sure where we stand as of right now because of things that have been going on. i believe things will work out the way they are intended to in the end. amanda b // once again, i think i saw you about twice this summer. fuck work. i miss you. we will surely chill more this year. darkes // our friendship is pretty off and on. i don't know what happens to us... other people that have been with me while good times occurred this summer/spring: mike mann, kerm (infact, all of genovese), jamison (even though you want me dead now), smiles, breyana, sean, blake, and many, many others.

I really dread this ending. I know a lot of things are going to change. Its incredibly depressing to think about. I love my friends and the times I have with them. This is sad. Way to sad for me to continue.

...

well maybe i put too much faith in the accident
entranced, we danced toward the ripest display of escape
let the starving ghosts feats, from this flesh, from these bones,
let them all feast. in this chess game of language, forced to sit so i play all alone, watch the bathos drift forth like the petals from a wild crafted rose...

I find it amusing how people try to search for happiness, but in the end, find they have wasted all of their time trying to be happy. I take things as they come. However, I have trouble letting go. I know sometimes you have to let go. I have so much trouble letting go, that to this day I still miss people that were in my life last summer. I upset myself and tear myself apart so much because of this. I consider it one of my biggest downfalls. However, I am still a rather happy person most of the time. The only thing that ever makes me unhappy is the fact that I cannot let go. I believe this originates somewhere in the fact that I think entirely too much. My lack of ability to let go and my constant thinking are two issues that go hand in hand, and never fail to bring me down. Maybe one day I will overcome this. Maybe one day I will find someone whose goal is the same as mine... When I figure out what my goal is. I don't like my situation right now. Everything changes. It always does. I just wish that for once, things would not have changed. I wish that we would be okay. I wish none of this would have turned out this way. I keep telling myself things are going to get better. But the truth is, nothing is going to change until I can let go and move on. Maybe, just maybe, this will be okay.

and the stars are projectors...

i've tried so hard to cleanse these demons

concentrate
don't you know
these are the days that leave you empty, they're leaving you cold
you said to me as we grow old
these are the days that last forever, never let them go...